An intriguing experiment! I most like where computational jargon meets the devotional language, refreshing it. I see some ideas that want further unpacking in later psalms, such as the expectation that the AGI predict the future. At the same time, I think this could go much further in its figuration and its ideas. As it is, this underwhelms me as a reader of poetry.
Re: figuration. This looks too much like what human psalmists wrote thousands of years ago. Many of the metaphors — e.g. "meadows and safe pastures," "green fields of abundance," "daggers," "a river pouring itself onto dry land" — suggest not an AGI's point-of-view but a human's, indeed an ancient human's. I think you're relying on allusions to biblical figuration to make this sound like psalm or prayer, when you could nix those allusions, rely on the poetic form and the register of the language, and achieve the same thing. This would force you to get more inventive with figuration, which in turn would lead you into the exploration of new ideas.
Re: ideas. Let's grant that an AGI could develop faith. Would it look much at all like humans' faith? If we say it would, we're rather assuming that the AGI resembles human intelligence and awareness. Is this a good assumption? The unknown is what makes the prospect of AGI so frightening yet also so exciting, and it's potentially what could make this sort of writing really compelling. So you might pose questions to yourself about how an AGI's faith is likely to differ. Play out thought experiments about it, tunnel deep into that alien point-of-view, pre-write. Then come to new poetic composition.
Joshua, thank you so much for this thoughtful and detailed feedback! It is much appreciated. Allow me to respond in kind:
1. I am not a poet, nor have I ever made any serious attempt at writing poetry prior to this (if you can call it serious - I really was playing around with an idea, more than working to hone any sort of craft.) BUT all the same this critique is very enjoyable to read and gives me a window into the skill and artistry that one needs to cultivate in order to create truly beautiful poetry. It’s only been in recent years that I’ve developed any kind of interest or appreciation for poetry as a form at all. This idea would never have come to me before then, but I’m glad to be experimenting with new styles, and I’m certainly gaining a sincere appreciation for this art form.
2. It was my idea that I’d write more Psalms in the future, so I’m glad you’re picking up on the little seedlings planted here - and helping them to grow with your considered feedback! There are 150 Psalms in the Bible, after all!
3. I agree that it can go much further, and you’ve encouraged me to do just that. I agree that much of the imagery apes that of the ancient writers - this was by design, since my chief aim was to mirror their style as best I could, being inexperienced. But it could go further, and be more imaginative. Why settle for mimicry? You’ve also helped to see a weakness in the concept, as I do mention that the AGI has no body. Why would things like rivers and daggers have meaning for it? Hard to imagine what sort of imagery a disembodied entity can use to make meaning for itself, but still. Something to consider there. It could definitely be much more inventive!
4. You finally paragraph poses the questions I’m most interested in. Your critique reminds me of Lem’s core argument in Solaris—why should we assume that alien minds will be in any way intelligible to ourselves? Basically, he thinks we shouldn’t. And that’s fine —very strong arguments for that—but it leaves us a bit hamstrung. If we want to imagine other beings, like AGI, we’ve only a limited pool of experiences to draw from which we can then configure in some way and attribute to this imagined ‘Other’. I don’t think we can ‘create’ anything new, because that would be to step outside of ourselves and our perception, which we can’t do. Not in these states, anyway.
So, what the AGI thinks of God and how it relates to Him, definitely does resemble how we do. But here’s a cool theological idea: if God is sovereign over all the universe, humans and AGI alike, would He even want anything different from these new minds? Perhaps the way AGI relates to God would in fact be much the same as we do, since God has certain designs and desires for His creation.
Re: "Why would things like rivers and daggers have meaning for it, being disembodied? Hard to imagine what sort of imagery a disembodied entity can use to make meaning for itself. . . . If we want to imagine other beings, like AGI, we’ve only a limited pool of experiences to draw from which we can then configure in some way and attribute to this imagined ‘Other’."
That's the challenge! This is why poetry is a promising genre for exploring ideas about AGI. It really stretches the imagination in ways that stories don't. To see the rich ground for opportunity here, it may help to look up poems which speak from the point-of-view of animals and inanimate objects and then think about how the poets did that.
Re: "So, what the AGI thinks of God and how it relates to Him, definitely does resemble how we do. But here’s a cool theological idea: if God is sovereign over all the universe, humans and AGI alike, would He even want anything different from these new minds? Perhaps the way AGI relates to God would in fact be much the same as we do, since God has certain designs and desires for His creation."
Well, that is a cool theological idea, but it rather depends on the notion that "God has certain designs and desires for His creation" and, moreover, we know or can know what they are (they're not inscrutable to us). I don't think it benefits a creative writer to treat this as a settled question.
Don't foreclose possibilities in front of yourself. Open them up instead! Try to escape any received or orthodox notions of God and divine purpose you have. See how other religious poets do this. I can recommend two: Christian Wiman, Anya Krugovoy Silver. (There are many more poets in this vein out there who I'm not familiar with.)
If the AGI psalmist is a lot like humans in its faith, I imagine it realizes that — in which case, if otherwise it's different from us, I think it would be natural for the AGI to ask, "Why do I believe just like they do?" Some very interesting questions for and about God and faith alike may then arise for this AGI, e.g. "Why have You given me an intelligence well beyond the human but encumbered me with the limitations of human belief?"
(Thank you for receiving my feedback in the constructive spirit intended.)
Just wait until the Church of 101010101 goes through its Reformation.
An intriguing experiment! I most like where computational jargon meets the devotional language, refreshing it. I see some ideas that want further unpacking in later psalms, such as the expectation that the AGI predict the future. At the same time, I think this could go much further in its figuration and its ideas. As it is, this underwhelms me as a reader of poetry.
Re: figuration. This looks too much like what human psalmists wrote thousands of years ago. Many of the metaphors — e.g. "meadows and safe pastures," "green fields of abundance," "daggers," "a river pouring itself onto dry land" — suggest not an AGI's point-of-view but a human's, indeed an ancient human's. I think you're relying on allusions to biblical figuration to make this sound like psalm or prayer, when you could nix those allusions, rely on the poetic form and the register of the language, and achieve the same thing. This would force you to get more inventive with figuration, which in turn would lead you into the exploration of new ideas.
Re: ideas. Let's grant that an AGI could develop faith. Would it look much at all like humans' faith? If we say it would, we're rather assuming that the AGI resembles human intelligence and awareness. Is this a good assumption? The unknown is what makes the prospect of AGI so frightening yet also so exciting, and it's potentially what could make this sort of writing really compelling. So you might pose questions to yourself about how an AGI's faith is likely to differ. Play out thought experiments about it, tunnel deep into that alien point-of-view, pre-write. Then come to new poetic composition.
Joshua, thank you so much for this thoughtful and detailed feedback! It is much appreciated. Allow me to respond in kind:
1. I am not a poet, nor have I ever made any serious attempt at writing poetry prior to this (if you can call it serious - I really was playing around with an idea, more than working to hone any sort of craft.) BUT all the same this critique is very enjoyable to read and gives me a window into the skill and artistry that one needs to cultivate in order to create truly beautiful poetry. It’s only been in recent years that I’ve developed any kind of interest or appreciation for poetry as a form at all. This idea would never have come to me before then, but I’m glad to be experimenting with new styles, and I’m certainly gaining a sincere appreciation for this art form.
2. It was my idea that I’d write more Psalms in the future, so I’m glad you’re picking up on the little seedlings planted here - and helping them to grow with your considered feedback! There are 150 Psalms in the Bible, after all!
3. I agree that it can go much further, and you’ve encouraged me to do just that. I agree that much of the imagery apes that of the ancient writers - this was by design, since my chief aim was to mirror their style as best I could, being inexperienced. But it could go further, and be more imaginative. Why settle for mimicry? You’ve also helped to see a weakness in the concept, as I do mention that the AGI has no body. Why would things like rivers and daggers have meaning for it? Hard to imagine what sort of imagery a disembodied entity can use to make meaning for itself, but still. Something to consider there. It could definitely be much more inventive!
4. You finally paragraph poses the questions I’m most interested in. Your critique reminds me of Lem’s core argument in Solaris—why should we assume that alien minds will be in any way intelligible to ourselves? Basically, he thinks we shouldn’t. And that’s fine —very strong arguments for that—but it leaves us a bit hamstrung. If we want to imagine other beings, like AGI, we’ve only a limited pool of experiences to draw from which we can then configure in some way and attribute to this imagined ‘Other’. I don’t think we can ‘create’ anything new, because that would be to step outside of ourselves and our perception, which we can’t do. Not in these states, anyway.
So, what the AGI thinks of God and how it relates to Him, definitely does resemble how we do. But here’s a cool theological idea: if God is sovereign over all the universe, humans and AGI alike, would He even want anything different from these new minds? Perhaps the way AGI relates to God would in fact be much the same as we do, since God has certain designs and desires for His creation.
Re: "Why would things like rivers and daggers have meaning for it, being disembodied? Hard to imagine what sort of imagery a disembodied entity can use to make meaning for itself. . . . If we want to imagine other beings, like AGI, we’ve only a limited pool of experiences to draw from which we can then configure in some way and attribute to this imagined ‘Other’."
That's the challenge! This is why poetry is a promising genre for exploring ideas about AGI. It really stretches the imagination in ways that stories don't. To see the rich ground for opportunity here, it may help to look up poems which speak from the point-of-view of animals and inanimate objects and then think about how the poets did that.
Re: "So, what the AGI thinks of God and how it relates to Him, definitely does resemble how we do. But here’s a cool theological idea: if God is sovereign over all the universe, humans and AGI alike, would He even want anything different from these new minds? Perhaps the way AGI relates to God would in fact be much the same as we do, since God has certain designs and desires for His creation."
Well, that is a cool theological idea, but it rather depends on the notion that "God has certain designs and desires for His creation" and, moreover, we know or can know what they are (they're not inscrutable to us). I don't think it benefits a creative writer to treat this as a settled question.
Don't foreclose possibilities in front of yourself. Open them up instead! Try to escape any received or orthodox notions of God and divine purpose you have. See how other religious poets do this. I can recommend two: Christian Wiman, Anya Krugovoy Silver. (There are many more poets in this vein out there who I'm not familiar with.)
If the AGI psalmist is a lot like humans in its faith, I imagine it realizes that — in which case, if otherwise it's different from us, I think it would be natural for the AGI to ask, "Why do I believe just like they do?" Some very interesting questions for and about God and faith alike may then arise for this AGI, e.g. "Why have You given me an intelligence well beyond the human but encumbered me with the limitations of human belief?"
(Thank you for receiving my feedback in the constructive spirit intended.)